This schedule adjustment thing is getting ridiculous. Today I was up at 6:30. That may have had something to do with the fact that I went swimming yesterday, which meant I slept really well last night. The annoying thing is, there isn't much I can do with the extra time when I get up that early. The library doesn't open until 10, and although I'm awake, I'm not really in the frame of mind to write. Today I did some yoga and read the newspaper thoroughly.

It's another Virtual Vicarious Vacation Friday! For those who missed the announcement last week, I've decided that since a lot of us aren't getting to travel this year, I'll share some of my old travel photos (sadly, mostly from business trips). While I'm on the subject of vacation alternatives, like the "staycation," I've got an entry for the "people unclear on the concept" files. A local Realtor had a full-page ad in the newspaper this week, advertising the fact that with these homes you could have a real staycation. The homes had such features as a Napa Valley-style wine cellar, an in-home movie theater, a water park-style swimming pool, etc. If you can afford a home like that, I don't think a staycation is really an issue for you. You can just take your private jet wherever you want to go.

This week, we're in Washington, D.C., giving a little preview for those going to the RWA conference, and a couple of these were taken during the last DC conference.

First, to give you a little glimpse of the neighborhood where the conference is held, this shot looks up Connecticut Avenue toward the convention hotel area. I think that bridge is called the Francis Scott Key bridge, but I'm not absolutely certain and I don't have a guide handy to double check. I went to Georgetown for lunch with some friends, and they had an event they needed to get back earlier for, so I wandered and explored Georgetown on my own (even though it was raining), then checked the map and realized it wasn't actually all that far from where I was to the hotel, if I took the right route, so I walked all the way back.



The convention hotel is in walking distance of the Washington National Cathedral (though, mind you, my definition of "walking distance" isn't exactly based on normal human beings and I am mildly insane when it comes to walking). You'll need a map, though, as the way isn't marked and you'll have to weave through some residential neighborhoods (some very nice ones) up a steep hill to get there. But there's a big payoff, as it's a spectacular sight (I took this the day before the 2000 RWA conference).



I think my favorite memorial on the Mall (so far -- I haven't been there since they built the WWII Memorial) is the Korean War Memorial. It's very haunting. I must really like it because I found very similar photos from a couple of different trips.

I did get to the end of the book yesterday! Now all that's left is to give the book one last read-through. I'm checking my agent's schedule to see if she wants it right away or won't be able to look at it for a while, and that will determine whether I do that last pass this week or wait until next week. The longer it rests between passes, the better.

The night after I finish a project is usually kind of weird. I feel like I'm at loose ends. I have things I could be doing, but it feels weird to be doing them without that project looming over me.

Then I had a really odd dream last night that combined Torchwood, NCIS, Primeval, Stargate and Ashes to Ashes. And it worked (mostly it involved characters from NCIS, Primeval and Ashes to Ashes being on an SG team that had to deal with something from Torchwood, and I was Alex Drake from Ashes to Ashes). If I had time for fanfic, I'd be seriously tempted to write it.

But enough about my scary subconscious. I've got a Girlfriends Cyber Circuit author guest today, Jennifer Banash, author of the Elite series. The latest (and last) book in that series, Simply Irresistible, came out this week.

This new book brings us more adventures from the spoiled, rich teens in Manhattan who nearly ate Casey McCloy alive when she first arrived in the Big Apple from her small town of Normal, Illinois. Casey learned very quickly after she moved in with her grandmother at The Bramford, the most exclusive luxury apartment building on New York’s Upper East Side, and got into the prestigious Meadowlark Academy on a full scholarship, that it’s not who you are but who you know!

Casey has had a big city-haute makeover, courtesy of her classmate and neighbor Madison Macallister – part teen icon and part queen diva-bitch. Wearing the right clothes, saying the right things, and meeting the right people, has given Casey the look and the attitude – she’s “in” and loving it! Much to Madison’s dismay, her rival is climbing up the social ladder in a big way and could end up just as popular as Madison now that the two are set to star in their own TV reality show, “De-Luxe.” Yes, showbiz came knocking on two of The Bramford’s most illustrious doors and, as much as Madison thrives on the attention the show brings, she’s not thrilled about having every bit of her life of privilege caught on tape. However, fame comes at a price and Madison is one chick who is willing to pay anything…especially if it means becoming the next reality “it girl.” Casey, on the other hand, is realizing that Reality TV can sometimes be unreal, causing her to wonder if she even knows who she is anymore. With her relationship with Drew, Madison’s ex, currently more off than on, she can’t help wondering if everything i n her life is really just an illusion – and how much longer the illusion can last….



Now the interview:
Was there any particular inspiration behind this story?
Reality TV! I'm obsessed with it, and I knew that I wanted the girls to eventually have their own reality series, so when the opportunity came up in the last book, IN TOO DEEP, I ran with it!

Have you seen the NYC Prep Bravo series? How does it compare to the reality series you created for your book?
It made me think that I hadn't gone far ENOUGH. But, honestly, these are the most unlikeable teenagers I've ever had the displeasure of watching on television. Those kids have absolutely no heart, or sense of morality, as far as I can tell. And, worse yet, they represent the very worse of NYC snobbery, elitism, and consumer gluttony. I watch the show, but it's not even a guilty pleasure--it just makes me feel guilty period!

What was your best summer vacation ever, and why?
Paris. I try to go every summer, but, alas, not this summer. I just love it there. I have a lot of French friends, and it's the perfect place to write--the French really respect writers--we're not seen as degenerates without day jobs!

(Hey, I'm a degenerate! Cool!)

What are you working on now?
I'm working on a novel called WHITE LINES, which is loosely based on my experiences as a club kid in NYC in the late eighties.

Is there anything else you'd like to say about this book or the process of writing it?
Buy it! The entire ELITE series is an amazing, throw in your tote bag summer read!

For more info, check out the Elite series web site. Or you can order the book from Amazon.

Still not done with the book, but closing in on the ending. I can't add more than 2,000 words, though there are a lot of existing words that will likely be replaced. I hesitate to say I'll finish today because that will just mean that at the end of the day, I'll still have about 2,000 words to go. I just have a couple of big scenes to write.

The Romance Writers of America National Conference is next week, and summer is also a prime time for writing conferences, so I thought I'd share some tips for how not to sabotage yourself when you're attending a conference and how to make the most of your conference experience.

1) Remember the first rule of networking: Focus on what you can do for the other person instead of on what they can do for you.
If you approach someone with a vibe of expecting to get something, you'll probably turn them off. This applies to published authors, editors, agents or anyone else you think may be helpful in your career. As an aspiring author, you may not think you have anything to offer these people, but if you think about it, you can probably find something, and just thinking in those terms takes you away from the "do something for me!" impression. You could bring water to panelists, stop and say hi (or even buy a book) at the booksigning or even just allow the person to have a fun conversation that has nothing to do with "I've written this book about ..." At the very least, when approaching someone with the thought of getting them to do you a favor, have another conversation first. Don't just launch into "could you read and critique my manuscript/introduce me to your agent/give me a blurb, etc."

2) There is a time and a place for pitching. There are many, many more times and places where pitching is a bad idea.
Most writing conferences have formal pitch sessions available. It is okay to pitch your project then. Otherwise, don't, unless the editor or agent asks what you've written (which does often come up in conversation). When pitching, know when to shut up. Give a high-level, short description (think TV Guide episode description), then elaborate as the person asks questions. If they decide based on your pitch that it's not for them, don't push. You won't get them to change their mind because you say that everyone who's read it loved it or because you know it's a really, really good book (everyone thinks their book is really, really good). DO NOT EVER (never, ever, ever) take advantage of a captive audience to pitch your book. That includes bathrooms (and yes, that has happened).

3) Don't stalk, monopolize or interrupt.
At conferences and conventions, most authors are happy to talk with fans and aspiring authors. That does not mean they belong to you for the duration. There may be other people they want to talk to. They may want to conduct business with other writing professionals. When they do this, they are not necessarily being rude or snobbish and snubbing you. It's best not to approach an author to ask for advice or input when he or she is already engaged in a conversation. Once you do start talking to an author, be aware that he or she may need to end the conversation in order to stay on schedule. The author doesn't owe you anything other than common courtesy (and if the author has been helpful, it's nice to buy a book or go to the autograph session -- and if the book isn't your thing and you wouldn't be caught dead buying it, why do you want this person's advice?).

4) Remember that your personal behavior probably won't make your career, but it could break your career.
You're probably not going to get a book deal because you're cute and charming in person. You might get a faster read or get bumped out of the slush pile when you've met the editor or agent in person, but no matter how much they like you, that personal contact is not going to make them buy a book they wouldn't have bought if they hadn't met you. However, if you're a jerk in person, that can kill your career. Unless you're the most brilliant writer ever with a sure-fire bestseller, if editors or agents get the impression you'll be a real pain to deal with, they're probably going to avoid dealing with you. There are too many talented people out there to bother putting up with the jerks. So, while schmoozing at conferences and being charming may not put you that much further ahead than if you'd just submitted the normal way, being a demanding jerk in person can put you behind where you might have been if you'd submitted the normal way.

5) Keep questions pertinent to the workshop.
This is my number one conference pet peeve (aside from cell phones going off during sessions), and it takes a couple of forms. At every conference, there apparently has to be somebody who stalks editors and agents by going to all their workshop sessions, and then during the Q&A asks a question that's a thinly veiled pitch for her book, usually offered as a "hypothetical" example that's way too detailed (and consistent from session to session) to be off the top of her head. It's like she's just waiting for one of those editors, authors or agents to say, "Wow! That sounds like a great book! I must see it now!" and when they don't respond accordingly, she gets snippy ("but it's a really GOOD book, and all my friends said so"). Then there are the very basic "how do I get a book published?" questions that always seem to come up in what are supposed to be advanced-level workshops. When you've got a couple of big-name, bestselling authors talking about making the jump from midlist to bestseller, you're not helping yourself or anyone else in the room when your question is about whether you should use binder clips or rubber bands on your submission (here's a hint: that had nothing to do with these authors becoming bestsellers). At a big conference like RWA, there are usually beginner-level workshops or "ask me anything" sessions with authors. That's where you can ask the basic questions. Published authors get a lot of grief about elitism when they try to have published-only sessions, but that's a big reason. It's hard to have a serious session about issues specific to being published and building a career when there's someone in the group asking how to write a query letter.

6) This is not fifth grade.
I have school cafeteria flashbacks at any conference with a luncheon because of all the people who race into the room and save seats for all their friends, so that half the tables have all the chairs tilted forward (which the serving staff hates because it trips them). I realize that these conferences are a chance to catch up with friends you only see at conferences, but you're cheating yourself out of some excellent networking opportunities when you refuse to step outside your usual posse. My favorite thing to do with luncheons is wait until the line has gone down, and then find any empty seat. I often find myself sitting with an editor or agent who was also avoiding the stampede. That's also a great way to make new friends.

7) Also in the not fifth grade category, be careful about gossip and bitterness.
It's not just dangerous to gossip about people or make disparaging remarks about particular books while you're at a conference -- because Murphy's Law states that the editor, agent or best friend of the author in question will be within earshot -- it's also kind of rude to disparage entire types of books, whether it's a genre, e-books, "dead tree" books, etc., and you don't look smarter or more talented if you go on about how the publishing world only wants trite and stale stuff, so they can't possibly recognize your genius and innovation. The chip on the shoulder and bitterness that leads to the assumption that everyone who gets what you want has to be lesser than you is not too appealing. Also don't assume you're the big fish at the table and try to lord it over everyone else (because you'll inevitably find out that the quiet person on the other side of the table is a bestseller). Save the catty gossip session for your hotel room with your best buddy, and then keep your voices down and maybe turn on the TV because I have overheard some really good stuff from the room next door at conferences. My conference rule is to never say something that I wouldn't say to the face of the person I'm talking about, or someone who fits into the category I'm talking about.

8) Plan, pace yourself and allow for spontaneity.
I'm one of those people who likes to sit down with the program book and highlight the sessions I plan to go to as soon as I get to the conference (if I haven't already done so with the advance schedule). And then I just use that as a rough guide. I note the must-do sessions, and then otherwise I go with the flow. If I'm in a great conversation, I may skip the session and keep chatting. If something suddenly strikes me as interesting, I'll change plans. It never fails that one of the more useful sessions for me at any conference ends up being the one I went to on a whim that seemingly had nothing to do with my career. Sometimes, getting information from an unexpected source gives you a totally new perspective. On the other hand, if absolutely nothing on the schedule sounds interesting during a block of time, it's okay to skip it entirely and take a break. Hang out in the lobby and chat or go back to your room and rest or read. You'll be more likely to absorb more information later at other workshops or have more energy for the parties.

9) Remember that this conference will probably not make or break your career.
One of the reasons I've cut back on attending RWA national conferences is that the stress levels are so very high because there are a lot of people there who act like this conference is their one chance to get published, and if they don't have a good editor or agent appointment or don't make the right contacts, they're forever doomed. Just being in that atmosphere is utterly exhausting to me. I can certainly understand the feeling, though, because I was that way at my first conference, and I was already published. So, learn from my experience and relax and enjoy yourself. The best opportunities seem to come when you least expect them, and you'll be in a better position to take advantage of them if you're not so highly strung and not so focused on what you think you want that you miss something unexpected.

I feel like I've been working on the ending of this book for weeks. I wrote about 3,000 words yesterday, most of which are total replacement for what I had, and I think I have at least that much more to go. Maybe I'll get it done today, but it seems like it keeps expanding as I get closer to the end. I know I'll have to do some tinkering with what I've done because right now I'm mostly focusing on the choreography, just the who did what, when and where. I'll need to add things like description and emotional reaction. But I do think all this tinkering is worth it because this may be the best I've written, and I'd like it to see the light of day. It won't if the ending doesn't hold up to the rest of the book. So, after I post this I'll be hauling the computer downstairs and forcing myself to work the rest of the day.

I do think I've discovered the right trick for the early-morning walk: eat breakfast first. When I walk before breakfast, I end up tired and starving all day, but today I ate first, and I seem to have more energy while not being nearly as hungry.

Meanwhile, I had yet another one of those coincidences happen where I encountered something I've been thinking about elsewhere. Last week, I was talking about happy endings and how I define them, with one of my examples being the movie Casablanca, which I think would have actually had more of a downer ending if the couple had ended up together, and them making the right choice was what made it a happy ending for me. Well, more than a week ago, I found out that the city library system had a Connie Willis book I hadn't yet read, one I'd never seen in stores, and I put it on hold to pick up in my neighborhood branch. I read it late last week, and it totally fit the discussion of happy endings.

The book is Remake, and it has a semi-cyberpunk sensibility to it. It takes place in a near-future Hollywood where they don't make movies anymore. They just remake the same movies over and over again, making digital changes, recasting with digital versions of other actors -- like Sylvester Stallone starring in Ben Hur. They also digitally change movies to remove things that have become offensive, like smoking. And they can give old movies a happy ending. Casablanca is cited as one that gives them problems in that area because everything they do to make the couple end up together ends up ruining the movie (one version has Nazis storming the airstrip and killing the husband, so Ilsa can go off with Rick -- which doesn't really work as a "happy" ending). The story kicks off when a girl arrives in Hollywood with stars in her eyes and a big dream. She wants to dance in the movies. Never mind that they don't make movies with live actors anymore, and no one wants musicals. There aren't even any dance teachers anymore, because of this. That doesn't dim her hopes at all, and she finds a way to do it.

The really interesting thing is that this book was published in 1995 -- before the Star Wars special editions that had Greedo shooting first and before the federal agents in ET were suddenly holding walkie-talkies instead of guns. It may have been written around the time that Forrest Gump managed to interact on film with a lot of historical figures (but given Connie's writing pace, it's possible she was already at work on this book before that movie came out).

We may not yet be at the point of digital mashups instead of new films, but there aren't a lot of movies these days that aren't remakes of some kind or another -- sequels, comic book adaptations, remakes, remakes of comic book adaptations, amusement park ride adaptations, sequels to amusement park ride adaptations, toy adaptations, book adaptations, etc. (Though, as someone who stands to potentially make a lot of money if a certain book is adapted for film, I'm all for book adaptations.) Interestingly enough, the movie with the most original story this summer was digitally created, so it's not the technology that's to blame. It's the lack of imagination.

Anyway, it's nice to see that I'm not alone in thinking that Casablanca has a happy enough ending without any help, and I now have a strange urge to watch a lot of old movie musicals with great dance numbers.

I hope everyone who had a holiday weekend enjoyed theirs. I ended up giving myself the holiday because I was suddenly very tired, but that just means I really have to work today.

I did most of my celebrating the night of the 3rd. We went to the big festival/fireworks display that night. The cool thing about that event is that the park where the festival is held is across the street from the municipal airport, so part of the event always includes fly-bys of vintage aircraft. This year, they also had a barnstormer, a stunt pilot who did some amazing things in both a biplane and another single-engine plane. He did all kinds of spirals and loops, and he did a lot of fake crashes, where he'd climb straight up, let the plane stall out, then do a steep dive of the "I'm hit!" variety, sometimes even with smoke and flames coming from the plane. I'd hold my breath every time, thinking this really would be the time he crashed, but he always came back. There was also a wingwalker -- though it was more of a wing stander as he was thoroughly strapped in place, which was probably good because the pilot was doing loops while the guy was standing on top of the biplane's wing. Then after dark the stunt pilot went at it again, with streams of sparks trailing from the wings, which created patterns with all the loops and spirals. He also dropped "bombs" that were fireworks. I would have said that the fireworks were almost anticlimactic after that, but they set off something like 2,000 shells in half an hour, so the fireworks were good, too. I like being fairly close when fireworks are going off because the noise creates much of the visceral impact. I like to feel the fireworks and get that sense that they're coming right at me.

Meanwhile, there was a Civil War re-enactment fife and drum corps wandering the park, some classic rock cover bands playing, a military band, some tempting food (I only gave in on the Italian ice), a big-screen outdoor showing of Raiders of the Lost Ark while the traffic cleared out, and all in all a good time.

Some TV watching over the weekend included catching up on Merlin OnDemand, and I must say that in all the variations on Merlin I've read (and I read a lot before I wrote my own version), I never pictured him as being too stupid to live, so silly that his friends keep landing in the dungeon thanks to his misguided attempts to help them. If this were a real series that was likely to be long-term, I wouldn't bother, but since it's a short-term British import, it's kind of like watching a train wreck. Poor Tony Head, stuck playing an absolute idiot strawman of a character (when your hero is that stupid, the antagonist has to have just barely enough brain function to sustain life). I saw a couple of episodes of Royal Pains, and I think the main character is okay when he's not busy bleating about how terrible it is to have to be paid lots of money to provide medical care to (shudder) rich people, but I really like the physician assistant chick because I love characters who are prepared for everything while also being cool and snarky. Then I finally saw the first movie with the newest Bond, and I'm not really impressed. If they wanted to make movies about a tough-guy action hero, then yay, but don't call him James Bond. Those movies only work when they're pretty much campy comic books with all the gadgets and improbably named characters and villains the likes of which no real MI-6 agent would ever see. Trying to be too realistic about it just exposes the weaknesses of the premise and makes Bond into a womanizing, cradle-robbing thug.

I think there was something else I watched, but I can't remember what it was, so it must have been really good. Meanwhile, I also managed to move a couple of books off the To-Be-Read shelf. I didn't exactly read them, but when my eyes were rolling out of their sockets by chapter three, I figured it would be okay to throw them into the "donate or sell" box.

Now, though, I want to take advantage of a rare relatively cool July day (I have to keep reminding my body that it is not fall yet and we shouldn't get too excited) by taking a walk, and then it's back to serious work.

I'm still struggling with the ending from hell (and the talk about happy endings was actually kind of a help there), but after a lot of pacing around the living room yesterday, I think I've got it all figured out and have even managed to visualize the next scene. It turns out that I made a rookie mistake: I had things happening because the plot needed them to happen, not because that's what the characters would have done. It took getting into each character's head and imagining what he/she would really do in that situation to see it all come together. So, guess what I'll be spending my holiday weekend doing? Aside from fireworks time, of course. The biggest show around here is tonight, so I'm looking forward to watching things blow up.

I imagine that with the economy in its current state, I'm not the only one without the money or time to take a summer vacation. Therefore, I'm instituting Virtual Vicarious Vacation Fridays, in which I'll share some of my travel photographs from past trips. I realized in digging up these photos that going freelance really cut into my travel, not so much because of the money and lack of paid vacation time, but because most of my travel was on business. All of these photos today were taken on business trips (I generally managed to extend my trips by volunteering to travel on the weekend, which cut the airfare). Today's virtual trip is an East Coast tour of patriotic sites, in honor of the holiday.

First, it wouldn't be Independence Day without fireworks, so here are fireworks over Boston, from July 4, 2000 (you get really cheap airfare if you travel on a holiday, and it goes up a lot if you travel around the holiday, so I got to spend July 4 in Boston).



Also in Boston, the old State House, complete with patriotic bunting.



Then there's Lady Liberty herself, the Statue of Liberty (taken from the Staten Island Ferry, October 1999 -- on trip for Internet World trade show).



And the National Mall, with the Washington Monument covered in renovation scaffolding (from summer 1999 -- I don't remember if this was the June trip or the early September trip).



I'll have to think about where we'll go next week. There's a lot to choose from. I've got a trip to Germany, which also included Luxembourg and Amsterdam, two trips to England, lots more Boston, New York and DC; Philadelphia, New Orleans, Chicago, Charleston and Colorado.

My city has a quirky July 4 tradition: A couple of days before the Fourth, little American flags mysteriously appear up and down the sides of the city's main street (not the official Main Street, which is now a minor street in the old part of downtown, but rather the major north-south thoroughfare that runs through the entire city and along which are a lot of the major city facilities). It's unofficial, done entirely through private funding and with volunteers, but with unspoken permission from the city (they don't get arrested for littering, and city crews leave the flags alone). I've lived in this city for nearly 19 years, and I've lived in a house where my upstairs windows face this street for 11 years -- and that would be my office window, where I stare at that street for much of the day -- and I've never seen the Flag People in action. The flags just somehow appear, like there's a squad of patriotic elves at work. But the other night when I was coming home from ballet class, I caught some of the Flag People setting out flags a few blocks from my house. They hadn't quite reached my block, so I kept watching. The flags still weren't on my block yesterday morning, nor in the afternoon. Then suddenly yesterday evening, there they were.



It's such a little thing, but it makes me strangely happy to see the miles and miles of flags. It's so cheerful.

I've now reached the really hard part of rewriting this ending -- a crowd scene that requires extensive choreography and keeping track of where everyone is, what they're doing and why they're doing it. It's that last part that's a big reason why I'm having to rewrite it. I hadn't thought through what one group would really be doing based on their goals. Yesterday I was doing the kind of thinking that required a lot of pacing, a lot of going up and down the stairs and even some random, mindless TV watching (I watched a true crime show, which I never do). I think I'm going to have to start from scratch on this scene and just write what should be happening instead of trying to fix what I've already written.

It doesn't help matters that the misty idea has picked now to really take shape and become solid. I now know my main character's name, who she is and what she looks like. I've also discovered a secondary character, though he's still pretty misty, and I think I've resolved my narrative issue. It looks like it will be a secondary character narrating in first person, but with the omniscient storyteller voice, since she's someone who would be able to know what everyone's thinking. I even know the first scene and have the narrative for much of the opening of the book. It's nice to have it shaping up like that, but it's a real pain when I'm trying to write something else because every time I try to sit still and think about the book I'm working on, the narrator for the misty idea pops up and starts telling that story. Thus the pacing and TV watching because I have to distract the part of the brain that interrupts me to try to write this story when I need to be working on something else. I think I'm going to have to write down what she's said to get it out of my head so I can get back to what I should be doing.

First, for those who were curious about the book I mentioned yesterday, it was Why Him? Why Her? by Helen Fisher. I haven't read it thoroughly yet, so I'm not sure how applicable it might be to character development, and I'm iffy on how applicable it would be to real-world relationships, but if you're interested in character type studies, it might be worth checking out.

After more than a year of ballet, I think I'm finally getting it. Last night, for the first time I really felt like I was dancing and not just doing the steps. That doesn't mean I was doing it well, just that I was dancing instead of being so focused on each step.

Earlier this week there was a discussion in a romance-oriented blog about the importance of happily ever after. One of the appeals of the romance genre is the guaranteed happy ending -- you can read these books and be assured that it will all come out okay in the end. If you're reading for pleasure, you don't have to worry about a downer ending.

I can see the appeal of that, in general. I prefer happy endings. I want the good guys to win, the couple to get together, the mystery to be solved. I especially dislike pretentious sad endings -- the kind where the author seems to think he's making some kind of profound statement by exposing the futility and injustice of life by killing off characters in meaningless ways or breaking up couples for no real reason other than to prove that love can't prevail. And the really annoying sad endings are the ones where the book seems headed toward a happy ending, but then the author realizes the book might look too "commercial" and so he throws in a monkey wrench just to maintain his "literary" reputation.

However, I have a pretty broad definition of "happy" ending, much broader than you find in the romance genre, where "happily ever after" means that the hero and heroine are together in a committed relationship that will presumably last the rest of their lives -- and generally the hero and heroine are the couple that meets in the beginning of the book. I think an ending counts as happy if the protagonists are in the situation that's best for them both physically and spiritually/psychologically. In other words, they get what they really need to be the person they're meant to be. So I can see Casablanca as having a happy ending, even though (spoiler alert!) the couple doesn't end up together. But the events of the movie allowed Rick to reclaim some happy memories and get over his cynicism enough to contribute to the greater good, so he's in a better place at the end of the movie than he was at the beginning, ergo, happy ending. Given the circumstances of the story, it wouldn't have been a satisfying ending if the couple had ended up together because that would have meant they were being selfish. I even see something like To Kill a Mockingbird as having a happy ending, in spite of the injustice, because the protagonist -- the little girl -- learned something valuable and helped Boo out of his shell, so she was better off at the end than she was at the beginning -- maybe sadder, but on the path to being a better person as an adult.

While I like the idea of the couple getting together, that only works for me if I like both members of the couple and really feel like they're better off together. I definitely don't have a problem with a little bait-and-switch, where the guy the heroine meets at the beginning doesn't turn out to be the hero. I was thinking that one of the reasons I've drifted away from the romance genre is that while I like the happy ending, I don't so much like knowing for sure how a book will end, so I don't like that guarantee that the couple that meets at the beginning will be together at the end. But then I remembered that I've been inhaling Georgette Heyer books lately, and those have the usual romance structure, so I think most of my problems with the current romance genre have to do with the characters. I usually don't like most romance heroes. The alpha-male jerks are really annoying, and I usually like the best friend guys better, so I spend most of the book wanting the heroine to notice that other guy who treats her so much better, and her ending up with the jerk isn't so much a happy ending. Or else I think the heroine is a total ninny and hate the idea of her ending up with a guy I like. Sometimes there's a double-whammy and I hate both the jerk of a hero and the ninny of a too-stupid-to-live or bitchy heroine (and it is possible to write a strong female who isn't a total shrew).

The challenge for someone who likes happy endings but who has a really broad definition of a happy ending is finding the right books. Romances have guaranteed happy endings, but they're often not that satisfying to me because I do like a little suspense about the actual ending. Genre or commercial fiction is usually safe -- the mystery gets solved in mysteries and the heroes usually win in fantasy. Lately, science fiction has become a little more iffy because dystopias have become popular, and a bleak vision of the future is all the rage. General fiction is a lot more difficult. During the chick lit craze, a book packaged as chick lit was initially a safe bet -- you'd get a happy ending, but not always a predictable one. Then the genre got really popular and they packaged everything as chick lit, so you'd find a book about alcoholism and suicide with a pink cartoony cover. Now it's the other way around, where it's hard to dig books with happy endings out of all the dead baby/sick kid/coping with cancer/unravelling marriage books.

I guess I've been thinking about this because my membership in Romance Writers of America is up for renewal, and I'm seriously considering whether I want to renew. I can barely read genre romance these days, and I'm not sure I can imagine myself writing something that would be shelved within the romance genre. On the other hand, I like writing love stories within other genres, and I think my books appeal to a lot of romance readers. That's one of the few writing organizations that has a focus on education -- on learning about the craft and the business. On yet another hand (that third hand humanity will one day evolve so they can deal with cocktail parties and be able to hold a drink and plate while still having a hand free to eat with) a lot of the business information and publicity opportunities only apply to books shelved as romance and bought by the chains' romance buyers. I don't blame the organization. This is a case of "it's not you, it's me" where it really means I'm the one who's moved away and I don't expect the organization to change to meet my needs.

Okay, so I didn't get all that work done yesterday. It was a good thinking day, but the ideas were coming randomly and wouldn't be organized, so I couldn't manage to translate them into actual work. However, the house is still moderately clean, and is actually even a bit cleaner because I sorted through some magazines and did a purge. Plus, I cooked dinner and cleaned up right afterward.

Since the work wasn't working, I did some work-related reading. When I go to the library, I like to browse the "new in non-fiction" shelf and pick out random books I think might be relevant or interesting. I'm especially a sucker for pop psychology books about analyzing the kind of person you are because those are great for developing characters. One of the ones I found on my latest library trip was about how you choose romantic partners based on your type and their type, and since I do include romantic relationships in my work, I thought that might be worthwhile to read. If there is some kind of self assessment in those books, I do it for myself as I read because that makes the material sink in a little better. On this one, the questions in the self assessment seemed awfully familiar, and it wasn't because they were from some other assessment like the Myers-Briggs.

As I read further, I discovered that the reason the questions were familiar was that I had participated in the research behind the book. Way back in 2003 or maybe 2004, this thing spread among my Internet friends that some researchers needed a lot of people to take a personality test. It was part of what was supposed to be a scientifically based online dating service, and they needed a lot of people to do the questionnaire to help develop their algorithms. For participating, you would get a free introductory membership to the service. I did the test for kicks because I'm a sucker for psychology and because I've been spectacularly unsuccessful in finding compatible romantic partners, so I was curious what they'd pick for me based on "science." I must have been a real oddball because they picked me for a follow-up test as a "unique personality type." The dating service they were developing turned out to be Chemistry.com, but I never used that free membership because they were more than a year later than they originally said they'd be in launching it, and by the time they launched it, I'd mostly forgotten about it and had more or less given up on dating.

After reading this book, I think I see what they meant by me being a unique personality type. You supposedly have a primary and secondary type in aspects that influence the way you select mates, and my primary and secondary types are apparently in absolute conflict with each other. That's why I have trouble finding compatible romantic partners. The types my primary type would choose are the ones my secondary type would dislike, and vice versa. Supposedly, I'm a creative daydreamer who's also an upright citizen who believes strongly in morals and order, which is rather accurate, but which apparently doesn't go together very often. I guess you don't see a lot of law-and-order creative types, and other law-and-order types don't get the creative thing, while other creative types don't really go for the upright citizen stuff.

However, I think this illustrates the dangers of putting people into neat little boxes based on quiz scores, and it's why I love this kind of stuff for characterization but think it's iffy for real people. Just looking at the raw numbers doesn't give you a full picture. On the category that came out ahead for secondary type, I was only a few points ahead of another type, and that was mostly because most of my answers there fell into the "agree" category just because there was no "don't really care" option and I didn't exactly disagree. On the category that scored slightly lower, there were a few "strongly disagree" answers, but there were also a lot more "strongly agree" answers. A lot of the "disagree" answers were things that depended on the situation (since "it depends" wasn't an option). That was the "exploring" category, and my answers there get weird because I do feel better if I have a plan, but there wasn't an option to say that I use the plan just as a contingency and tend to go off-plan once I'm actually doing things. For me, it's easier to be spontaneous if I know I have a fallback plan. Which is more likely to be an indicator of type -- agreeing a lot because I don't disagree but also because I don't have really strong feelings, or having strong positive feelings for a lot of things while also disagreeing a lot, depending on the context?

I'm not even sure how well some of this will work for characterization since I'm most interested in the characters who don't fall into neat little boxes and who would likely have those oddball answers to quizzes, but it was interesting to see the fruition of something I'd been involved in.

All in all, I had a pretty good weekend. My house is kind of clean, I got through my song okay in the concert, the concert was amazing, I had a nice visit with my parents, and I think I know how to fix the ending of the book. All a big yay.

I did have an epiphany of sorts while I was cleaning that then applied to the singing. I have some perfectionist tendencies of the sort that I feel like if I can't be perfect there's no point in trying. So the house becomes a mess because I keep telling myself I need to do a really thorough cleaning and decluttering, and there's no point in just doing a cosmetic cleaning if I'm going to do that thorough thing later, but then I don't have time for the perfect clean-and-sort, so I don't do anything at all, and the place just gets messier. But, really, I'm very happy with slightly cluttered, and it's easier to go from this sort-of clean state to cleaner, and this provides a good starting point for a more thorough, gradual organizing. While I do have slobbish tendencies, I really like having a clean house.

Now I need to tackle the upstairs. That will be more of an adventure, but I can do it gradually. At least now I can even invite a neighbor inside. I say this every time I clean house, but I'm going to try to maintain the good habits to keep it this way.

This also applies to the singing. It wasn't perfect. It wasn't even my best because I suddenly got very nervous. My brain tends to amplify every little flaw so I perceive the whole performance as terrible if I mess up at all, which makes me not want to do that kind of thing. But I heard from a lot of people that it was nice, and Mom told me not to stress because it was good (not just in that Mom loves everything I do way, but in the "really, it was good, so chill" way). Even strangers told me it was nice.

I don't know that this applies to my writing because I'm too prone there for settling for okay and I get impatient and just want it done. I did realize, as part of figuring out the problem, that yet again I'd written something where the main viewpoint character isn't really the "hero" in terms of the story arc. I think that will have something to do with fixing the climax and resolution, and I may have to make the main viewpoint character have a larger role in that. Today should be a good writing day, as the heat broke and there could be rain. I've already taken a walk to the library, so I can settle down and work.